Today is 11 January 2007.. Wah it has been raining almost whole day le leh .. Now still raining lor.. Sian ..I felt very weird feeling.. I feel that he doesn’t love me anymore liao.. I’m now keep hurting myself.. Last night we quarrel.. Cause of I asking him something which is personal.. The answer that he given to me was like lying to me.. I can see it from eyes.. And the more I asked the more he denied.. Then I keep still asking and ask.. I thought he will be true to me but then he got fed up and talk back loud to me… and he says since you don’t trust me then I will let you be… and he won’t bother so much about me… and also he says that he towards me ..he felt fan gan … do you know this sentence hurts my feel a lot??? I guess you won’t know it… even I was crying very worst .. To you , you see that I crying … you will only scold me cry for what ?? But does your heart feel pain that I’m crying??? You won’t .. you won’t already.. You had says to me so obviously that you very fan gan to me.. I don’t know what to do?? Am I supposed to act as I never hear hear anything those hurtful words you say out from your mouth??? I am your wife yet you treat me just like an enemy.. Never had patient to me…. I know .. I know you towards me now has changed.. even I leave you one day.. It’s all nothing to you.. It’s not important.. You will be happy .. After I had leave you.. I know it.. I’m just deluding myself … I don’t’ want to face the fact that you towards me had really changed .. no more love me as much as last time…
Whenever you working.. When I called you.. You hear my voice.. You seems like wanted to hang up as soon as possible (the feeling that you given me) & you will tell me that I’m busy .. … I know.. Sometimes you are really busy with the task that you are holding on.. But can’t you just talk to me the way properly ??? Don’t let me feel strange .. ..
I’m worry .. I scare that I can’t hold our marriage anymore… the more you like this towards me.. The more I hurt myself.. Sorry .. I really don’t know what will happened between us… …….
I still remember the day you proposed to me, the commitment that you had given me.. You says you will love me, adore, pamper, care me .. you says you will not changed and you says you want to take care of me for the rest of your life.. You wanted to be with me …. Till old… you says you will never leave me alone again at outside… you say you will not lie me .. You say you will not smoke again… but all this promises.. You had already breaks how many times… do you know it’s hurtful??? And do you still remember the day you bring me to tampines mall ?? And we went to every of the jewellery shops to see our engagement rings??? And after so many of the shop.. Last station.. Soo kee jewellery and I saw that ring very special and I like it very much without notice the cost of the ring…. You knew that I like that ring so much .. You decided to bought.. And inside of the ring… we requested to ask them help us to carve our name..your ring will has my name.. and mine will has your name..
I really miss the past times that we spending together.. But now no more like this already …
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