Today is 12 January 2007. It’s the most unhappy day for this year of 2007.. It’s raining the whole.. Day ..thought that he will want come down look for me.. But don’t have .. He give me a lot of excuses that I cant’t accept it.. He say he don’t like to take umbrella out… then he say see first … called me later .. He says don’t know want meet not.. Then in the starting … he say he miss me all things.. What’s all about? You changed towards me .. You just say out.. Don’t give me all this rubbish of excuses.. I toward you disappointed .. There’s only I can say that I towards this marriage already won’t pinned on any hopes..
I now know that after married to you is like this .. I’m just all along a fool… okay I will not bother anything anymore.. This marriage .. Up to you to go and decide.. Disappointed in you… I can’t believe that you will like that to me… don’t say I quarrel with you this time.. You giving me from head to toe. Too much excuses… fine… I won’t shed a tears for you… you are not worth for me to cry on … I hate you .. I hate the way you treat me..
After divorce, we will not owe each other!!! Bye ..you force me to it…


Today is 13 January 2007. Never quarrel today.. It’s seems like I’m giving in to him .. And everything seems to be fine.. No quarrel.. I wonder is it I should be like this .. Keep on giving in … I’m hurting myself once again.. But however, I hope he will really know I’m stepping back and keep let him … I just don’t want to end this marriage.. I don’t want to be painful… again and again .. I hope he will really know… that I’m changing.. But if he doesn’t really … care about me…. My feels.. Then I really got nothing to say.. Love can’t be forced.. And sometimes two party together .. It’s not to say who is right who is wrong.. It’s that the only thing to ask yourself is that “can you accept everything bad and good about him?” if u can accept , then just carry on.. If you can’t accept, then you got think abut the rest of the years down the road you’ll be facing many problems…again got to think it very careful… “can you accept?”
For me, I think I had changed a lot.. Keep deluding myself.. Keep crying… keep give in .. I’m just a nothing to him…but I really wish that god will be fair to me.. Please.. I really don’t want to keep at home facing the four wall keep thinking and cry and waiting for him to release work.. Please be fair to me…!!!!!!
TO YOU: I hope you will really love me.. Adore care me… pamper me…really use your whole heart to treasure me… if you don’t.. then I really nothing can say … now you had already married me since the day we ROM on 16 October 2006 , married on the same day as your BIRTHDAY 1st November 2006... I hope you remember the commitment you giving me… and please think back of the happiness we had share… before… PLEASE don’t hurt me again ………
“Never hurt a person that you love”
“Never leave a person behind that you love”
And lastly, will you really stay with me by my side forever till old??? Will you keep your promises?? I really hope you will. As I don’t want to get cheat by anyone else…I wish you’ll be my last man of my life =( will you ?????????or you’ll want to leave me one day??????????